Comfort Captains Reporting for Duty

Let's prepare for tomorrow...

Hey there, friends. Welcome to the latest Elevate PAC Substack—dropping just before what might be the bleakest Inauguration Day ever. First of all, can we just acknowledge that Dry January was an absolutely terrible idea this year? It’s January 19th, and given the context of, you know, everything happening tomorrow, let’s be honest—most of us caved faster than a BYU student proposing after the second date. So, cheers to surviving with whatever’s left in the liquor cabinet.

Let’s be real: today feels like the pit in your stomach when you realize the good part of the dream wasn’t real. We know. We’re right there with you. The pomp, the ceremony, the “how the hell did we get here” existential dread—it’s enough to make anyone want to crawl under the covers and stay there until 2028.

So if your plan today is to curl up with a pint of ice cream, blast your “crying in the shower” playlist, and scroll Zillow listings for anywhere-but-here… we get it. We won’t judge. But before you disappear into that doom spiral, we’ve got a little something for you.

This special edition is packed with survival fuel: recipes so indulgent they should come with a warning label, a lineup of cozy TV shows to distract you from the dumpster fire, and yes—photos of our dogs doing dumb, lovable dog things. Because honestly? Sometimes the only thing standing between you and the void is a gooey grilled cheese and a golden retriever in a Halloween costume.

For context, let’s talk about the unsung heroes of every campaign office—the saints who swoop in with snacks when morale is scraping the floor. We call them “Comfort Captains,” and yes, that’s a very real title for very real, wonderful volunteers. Today, we’re hoping to be yours: passing the chips, raising a toast (with cocktails or LaCroix, your call), and leaning into the collective grief so we can all survive another day. Because let’s be honest—this sucks. Still, if we’ve learned anything in politics, it’s that when things are at their worst, there’s always someone ready with a bag of Doritos and a dark joke. Today, that someone is us. Stay salty, friends; we’re in this pit of despair right alongside you. But while the vibes are bleak, let’s make one thing clear: we’re not giving up—not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

From Gabi Finlayson, the team’s Liquid Comfort and Car Crying Expert:

Comfort Cocktail: The "Bare Minimum" Vodka Soda

1.5 oz vodka (or more, like a lot more, if you’re me).
Top with soda water (preferably straight from a LaCroix can you’ll pretend to recycle).
Squeeze in a lime wedge (or just wave a lime in its general direction).
Serve over ice.
Optional: Garnish with the faint hope that things will get better soon.

Sip and repeat as needed until the existential dread feels slightly more manageable. Cheers!

Comfort Album: American Idiot - Green Day

Quite fitting, I’d say.

Comfort Podcast: If Books Could Kill hosted by Michael Hobbes & Peter Shamshiri

If Books Could Kill tears apart "airport books"—those pop-science or "smart thinking" bestsellers you spot in every terminal. Hobbes calls them “the superspreader events of American stupidity,” and honestly? He’s not wrong. Each episode dives into one book, exposing the bad arguments, trash data, and wild overgeneralizations, all with a hefty dose of humor and just the right amount of snark (you see why I like it). It’s brutal in the best way.

Comfort TV Show: Survivor (stream on Paramount Plus)

I know, I know—Survivor might just seem like reality TV chaos, but hear me out. It’s basically a political campaign in the wild. Strategy, alliances, backstabbing—it’s all there, just with fewer suits and way more fire-making. Every season is like a crash course in power dynamics: trust is currency, votes are weapons, and in the end, the jury decides who walks away a winner. If you’re into politics, it’s oddly comforting. Messy, high-stakes, and a reminder that, whether you’re on an island or in the Capitol, it’s always about playing the game.

Recommended seasons:

Season 20 - Heroes vs. Villains

Season 16 - Micronesia - Fans vs. Favorites

Season 31 - Cambodia - Second Chance

Season 40 - Winners at War

Season 47 (shout out to cast member and Pod Save America host, Jon Lovett)

Office MVPs:

Above is Indie, my very old but sweet Sheltie. She’s the OG good girl and a true expert in being unbothered. Her official role at Elevate? Being old, tired, and generally over it—which, let’s be honest, is also me every October of election season.

And below is Bill, my little brother’s Beagle who makes guest appearances at my house and the office. His job at Elevate includes shredding boxes, running so fast his ears turn into little parachutes, and occasionally forgetting that glass doors exist.

From Jackie Morgan, the Curator of Creative Coping Mechanisms:

Comfort Cocktail: Aperol the Feels (Because Sometimes “Spritz Happens”)

Like a quick trip to Italy—bright, bubbly, and just bitter enough to keep it interesting. Think summer sunshine in a glass, fizzed with a splash of sweet denial. Perfect for when you’d rather be on the Amalfi Coast than doomscrolling.

3 oz Aperol

3 oz prosecco (preferably the cheapest bottle you can find, because realism).

Top with club soda or seltzer (like your mood: bubbly, but borderline bitter).

Serve over ice in whatever fancy glass you can rummage up.

Add an orange slice (like a tiny sun reminding you that there’s still hope).

Mocktail alternative (for all you strong souls holding out—or just not drinking today). Mix any juice with some fun LaCroix in the fanciest glass you own. Here are a few pairing ideas:

Pomegranate Juice + Beach Plum LaCroix: My personal fave—like a seaside orchard in a glass.

Pineapple Juice + Coconut LaCroix (controversial but if you know, you know): Just like a pina colada at a swim up bar

Cranberry Juice + Lime LaCroix: Crisp, tangy, and borderline fancy—like a mini Cosmo without the hangover.

Comfort Recipe: Nana Mac

Comfort Podcast: Normal Gossip

Coping Mechanisms (or more like arty distractions):

Try Sewing: I can’t stop sewing right now, specifically tiny bags—because apparently you can never have too many pockets for your hopes, dreams, and random chapsticks. Trust me, friends love them. And if you love shopping, you can go to the thrift store and have an excuse to buy all the stuff you want and make it cuter.

Have you tried video games?: If you haven’t tried Stardew Valley yet, consider it your passport to a simpler world—spend hours farming and raising chickens, it scratches that "want to move to a farm and start a commune" itch.

Rock Tumbling: The ultimate “get-it-and-forget-it” hobby—and, not to be too cheesy, you really do kill two birds with one stone. Go on a walk (bird one), pick up some rocks, plop them in a tumbler with that sandy grit, and wait a month. Then, when you remember this hobby exists, you’ve got shiny, pocket-sized worry stones—like a mini science experiment that rewards you with literal hidden gems for your pockets, desk, paperweight, or decorations (bird two).

Office MVPs:

Cleo spends most of her time hiding in corners or wedging herself under couches, a former street dog now living her cushy life. With no front teeth and a tongue that’s always slipping out, she’s giving “perpetually goofy” and doesn’t even know it. Her job at Elevate? Keeping things low-key dramatic and reminding us that hiding from your problems is a valid strategy.

Soleil (aka so-lay so-slay) is our part-time office puppy, bringing slay-worthy energy whenever she visits. She works very hard—until she has an accident, at which point she becomes “So-Lay, Not So Slay.” But hey, even the best interns make mistakes.

From Ben Hanyes, our resident Comfort Captain and the undisputed champ of turning bad days around:

Comfort Recipe: “PEANUT BUTTER THINGS”

1 Normal Size Jar of Peanut Butter (Smooth)

1 Bag of Butterscotch Chips

1 Box of Rice Chex

Put the peanut butter and butterscotch chips in a pot and melt them down on the stove (low and slow is the way to go). Stir in the Rice Chex until every piece is coated in gooey, peanut-buttery magic. Scoop onto wax paper and refrigerate for two hours—or as long as you can resist. Then, enjoy and bask in the glory of your deliciously low-effort creation.

Office MVP:

Wallace is our resident prince and the original dog intern at Elevate. He’s all about flexing his "tough guy" persona, obsessing over fetch, and charming the ladies with his over-the-top tail wagging (seriously, it’s a liability). Hard work? Not his vibe—he’s fully leaned into nepotism and lives for the perks.

Drink of Choice: Miller High Life

Sometimes the “Champagne of Beers” really is the best answer. Simple, reliable, and always gets the job done.

Comfort Show: Hacks (HBO)

It’s hilarious, with some of the most fun and complex characters you’ll find. The mix of generational tension and comedy is perfect, and since the episodes are only 30 minutes, it’s bingeable without completely ruining your day. The Season 3 finale? A chef’s kiss moment that’ll leave you gasping.

Comforting Book: High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

Full disclosure: I’m only partway through, but it’s already proving to be a delightful read. Bonus points for anyone who loves a good mix of music, love, and life crises.

Comfort Movie: A Knights Tale

This movie is everything: action, romance, a rags-to-riches story, and a soundtrack that slaps. It’s impossible not to feel better after watching Heath Ledger take on medieval jousting to the tune of Queen.

Comfort Podcast: Acquired

The deep dives into businesses like Costco and Hermès are absolutely fascinating. Who knew learning about supply chains could be this interesting?

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We’ve shared our go-to recipes, shows, and adorable dog pics, but now it’s your turn—what’s getting you through Inaguration Day? Whether it’s your favorite comfort food, a podcast you’re obsessed with, or the furry friend keeping you sane, we want to hear about it. Leave a comment on this Substack or tag us on social media (@elevate_pac, @gabifinlayson, @jpmorgan01, @jbenhaynes) with your personal survival staples. Because let’s be real—everyone could use a little extra comfort right now, and the more good vibes (or dark humor) we share, the better.

So, there you have it—our collective survival kit for what might be the gloomiest day of the year. Grieve, rage, laugh at the absurdity—whatever it takes. Then take a deep breath, because we’re all in this together. Snacks in hand, cocktails (or LaCroix) raised, and absolutely determined to keep showing up. If there’s one thing we’ve learned from politics and life, it’s that comfort comes from knowing you’re not alone. We’ve got this.

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Elevate PAC is working to eliminate single-party control at all levels of our state’s government by elevating inspirational leaders, activating the new Utah majority, and centering our shared values and common purpose.

Our blueprint is to recruit and train candidates, invest early, support strategically, and build relationships.

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